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How a Wellness Socialite serves two masters

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Balancing wellness in our fast paced, fun world is tricky.

-Sara Plummer Barnard

There are so many obligations and pressures and SO MANY cool things to experience. Where do we exert and where to we conserve? Time to rest or time to push through?

We really are trying to be healthy and get all of our work done and frolic with the fun kids and connect to our highest purpose and and and~ we have 24 hours and mitochondria that requires certain things to output optimal energy.

Top 5 tips to balance it all better:

1. Know your stressors and what depletes you

2. Know what's worth getting depleted for

3. Ditch the next day shame. Permit, commit, and have a recovery plan in place.

4. General Rest Hacks and Recovery Tips

5. Specifics Tips for Alcohol, Sleep Deprivation, Anxiety, Over eating, and Travel

 

1. Know your stressors / depletors

  • Sugar? ... Not enough sleep? ... Traumatic Childhood? ... Manic Over-scheduling?

  • Narcissistic Boss? ... Competitive Friends? ... Family pressure? ... Work Load?

Knowing what really takes it out of us lets us plan ahead and have compassion for our resulting fatigue that can take us out of the game. Be honest about how your habits, environment, and community make you feel. Some may require more recovery time than others and some should be avoided entirely.

2. Know what's worth getting depleted

Life is exhausting and we have to know what we value, what we feel is worth blowing our energy load. If we can't get clear on this, we'll spend our time tired and yet unfulfilled. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. It just has to light you up and feel worth it if it involves late nights, stimulating substances (dessert, drugs), or your time (you'll be sacrificing that morning jog).

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  • What's your real life bucket list?

  • What do you feel you should do? What values are being advertised to you? Do you care about those really? Are you just keeping up with the Jones'?

  • Do you actually care about tradition, hallmark holidays, sports schedules, that 4th group of friends you're supposed to be seen with, or pressuring family values? (If yes, awesome, note that! If not, what will you lose sleep over?)

  • Connect with your true north in that moment - what do I actually want to be doing now?

3. Ditch the next day shame

Once you know what you're willing to tire yourself out for, go for it. Yes you may feel crummy the next day but own your choice, permit yourself, commit to the decision, and know you have a recovery plan. 

4. General Rest Hacks and Recovery Tips

  • Sunday sleep in (or 1 other day per week to reset and catchup a bit)

  • Lunch nap or solo walk

  • 1 night/week early 8:30 bedtime. (If you stayed in, don't scroll Instagram)

  • Stop eating 4 hours before bed most nights (allows body to go into empty belly Autophagy cleaning cycle while giving your digestion a break and letting blood sugar rebalance)

  • Meditative deep breathing with soothing sounds, eye shade, and pep talk positive thoughts

  • Notice where you're mean to yourself and jot it down ~ then start interrupting that asshole

  • Switch to veggies, protein, and good fats (ditch the exhausting blood sugar spike emergency)

  • Take a 5 day alcohol/sugar break ~ let the body reset and not be in constant recovery mode

  • Flush it out with water ~ mood lift, cleansing detox, beauty booster, and cellular gift

  • Give Credit & Gratitude ~ list out your accomplishments and tune the brain back to grateful.

5. Beauty Hacks & specific remedies

ALCOHOL:  Booze dries us out, slows our filtering of other toxins, and steals our electrons. Here's how to help avoid a hangover and some next day recovery tips

  • While drinking, Go bulletproof! This means clear spirits (no wine/beer), no sugary mixers. Skip dessert on alcohol nights. Vodka Soda, Tequila lime,

  • Antioxidant liver support vitamins ~ help the liver make master antioxidant Glutathione by giving it the building blocks NaC & ALA with Vitamin C

  • Drink water every other drink. ~ Hangovers are a combination of dehydration and free radicals stealing electrons from our cells. Keep the water coming. Ditch the sugar.

  • Sleep ~ let the body process the poisons and filter. This one doubles as an inflammation reducer and beauty hack. Sleep is magic.

  • Cold Shower/ SF Bay dips ~ reset the body and lower inflammation

  • Move that body - walks in the sunshine are everything.

  • Skip the next day coffee and opt for green tea thats less acidic and dehydrating.

  • Next day breakfast should have a whole lot of good fats and vitamin rich, fiberous veggies

    • eggs & spinach /broccoli scramble (turmeric & pepper on eggs, sea salt/cayenne optional)

    • avocado & sea salt / avocado crab salad

    • banana & almond butter

    • VitalistSuperfood Aloe Detox drink ~ mint, lime, aloe, ginger, spirulina

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LACK OF SLEEP: this one is tough but we can feel a whole lot better with a few tweaks

  • Eat less food. ~ Yes you will be seeking more stimulation but the body is tired and can't handle the extra processing load. Absolutely NO SUGAR if you have to be awake and productive the next day. The sugar crash will put you to sleep and wreak havoc on your tired skin.

  • Power nap when possible (every minute counts)

  • Under eye cream and fabulous concealer / brightener (Benefit's Shybeam adds to any concealer)

  • Lots of water, minerals (magnesium), and amino acids to help with body function.

  • Walk in the Sunshine! This mood boost, Vitamin D3 bath, and lymphatic detoxing through movement is ALL.THE.THINGS. Start slower and then pick up the pace as your body comes alive.

  • Wear bright colors, lips too. (yes you feel like death but vibrant colors (esp. yellow) are mood boosters and red lips keep us feeling fierce)

  • Triple the Vitamin C! ~ you can't take too much and this may be the difference between getting sick after a big night or not. Plus you'll notice a positive skin difference. I live on Oxylent (emergenC in a pinch) most days but really go for it after partying.

  • Protein over carbs if you want to focus and feel good. .Carbs if you want to numb out and nap.

 

ANXIETY / STRESS: your brain is low on magnesium, you're depleted, and the anxiety is here

  • Lots of oxygen! ~ Deep diaphram breathing tells the brain things are A-ok. The faster the thoughts are going the slower and deeper the breath should be

  • Power nap / Meditative break ~ The anxiety won't let you feel accomplished anyway, so stop what you're doing and literally do nothing. Remind that anxiety that you're not going to be pushed around by it's irrational panic. Your brain is depleted and you actually need rest. Deep breathing is your only real to-do list

  • GABA, Magnesium, Vitamin B12, D, C, amino acid 5HTP

    • GABA helps the brain chill out

    • Magnesium also helps with the chill while being needed in 300+ brain chemical reactions (epsom salt baths, spinach, almonds, cashews, dark chocolate all have magnesium)

    • methylated/converted B12 & B9 are both the buffers against stress in the body and the mechanics that take amino acid building blocks and create hormones / happy brain chemicals. (read more about Bs here)

    • D ~ linked to good mood, weight loss, strong bones, immune function, and heart health

    • 5HTP is the amino acid that builds Serotonin. People that party on Molly take lots of this the next day. It's a good building block for us to take in the afternoon to build up our reserves and especially the day after lots of happy stimulation. I use Neurothera that combines all of these ingredients.

 

OVEREATING: It's easy to get caught up in stressful work and social situations and eat to soothe or distract. If this has happened, here's how to reset:

  • Wiggle. Dance. Walk. ~ put that food to work and send it to the muscles for use. The dance floor can seriously help the damage of the buffet. Walking after a meal is wonderful to reset.

  • Forgive yourself ~ Yes you feel stuffed and yes you have to be in a bikini this weekend. It's ok. The body will process it and there was probably a needed mineral in that food combo that is just what your body needed. One meal is no big deal, especially with the tool of intermittent fasting!

  • Intermittent fasting ~ eat 14-16 hours after you take your last bite. Drink water and let your body process that food and stabilize blood sugar before giving it more. Overnight fasting is great (and easier). If you feel hungry, make some bulletproof coffee/tea with coconut oil or butter in it. Break the fast with slices of good fat rich avocado.

  • Commit to experiment ~ If you know you're an anxious eater, have some food rules. See how you feel after ditching alcohol at one event, sugar at another, and dairy/meat at another. See which social food combo works best for your body and what should be avoided. Just don't ditch them all at the same event. Start slow and experiment with breaking this common overeating cycle.

 

TRAVEL: Dry airplanes, too much sitting, recycled air, unhealthy snacks, and weird hours can throw us off. These can help:

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  • Under Eye Cream ~ wear it and bring it

  • Lots of water - bring or buy a bottle

  • Healthy Snacks ~ Avocado cut in half in bag, Almonds/Walnuts, VitalistSuperfood Nut Balls,Paleo Bar, Home popped Popcorn in a bag, Starbucks Match green Tea Latte, Salad or sushi bought at the airport (careful with the dressing), Apple, Nitrate free Turkey/Beef Jerkey, Steamed Veggies.

  • Bring a Jacket/scarf for warmth and low back support (who are those seats made for?)

  • Fascia releaseTennis Balls for massage

  • Bring Eye Shades to sleep

  • Stretch, Rollout, and maybe walk that morning

  • Walk around the airport

  • Dress fabulous enough you'd be ok running into an ex but comfy enough to take a nap (leggings and lipstick)

  • Time your nap and pop a melatonin for longer flights entering a new timezone

  • Vitamin C!!! Your skin, immune system, and pending jet lag are begging you!

 

 

Why your 30s are your best dating decade.

The 30s are the decade of the woman.

She has the beauty and fertility to be the bell of every ball while having the confidence, clarity of purpose, and tricks of the trade to be downright dangerous.

So if you're 30 something & not stoked about your dating results, allow me to fill you in on a few fabulous truths to direct your attention to:

1. Unapologetic Confidence.

Our 30s are a great time for personal revelation, comfort and confidence, as well as clarity in purpose.

why on earth we focus on slight aging signs and a panic over wasted youth when we're in our prime makes no sense. Spending so much as a breath explaining to a date what you wished you did differently or why you still have some holiday weight is the biggest mistake any woman can make. Wiggle when you walk, laugh loudly, spread your feminine energy broadly, and rock what you've got.

Yes we want to be fully seen, but he needs to see you as the inspiring goddess you are and would never notice those flaws if you didn't advertise them.

Stop with all conversation that isn't about how fabulous, excited, interesting, or busy you are. Acknowledge vulnerability but stay positive and emanate your goddess glow. It's your true self anyway and you really shouldn't lie to him by lowering your worth in the name of humility or external validation.

2. we Understand the role of story-telling in success.

My ladies in branding and marketing could write this paragraph. The rest of us should listen up. Your brand and perceived worth will be determined by how you position yourself.

No being too available. No being self deprecating. No explaining away anything. You're in the best decade of your life and couldn't be more thrilled. Zero fear ladies. The words you say will determine how he sees you.

If you're feeling generous, explain to one of those fabulous 20 somethings the power she has if she's willing to put the insecurity, neurosis, and self limiting beliefs aside.

You are the minx he's been waiting for with all of the brains, beauty, experience, bedroom tricks, gratitude, and life hacks that make you the ultimate partner. The only reason you're still available is because you "recently got out of something after realizing you were settling and thought you both deserved better". That's it. Zero further explanation. Oh yeah, and you seem to not stay single long for whatever reason... Cue the coy innocent glance.

He is not your therapist and cannot know anything beyond that as to why someone of your caliber could possibly be available. If you're online dating, see my specific recommendation in the Tinder Article. Online dating is already disadvantageous - But it's not a deal breaker and can be done gracefully by holding your ground, worth, and standards.

3. We know how to  put our Best face forward.

Thanks to beauty revelations, there's a good chance you're even prettier than you were in your 20s understanding the rules of the fashion, makeup, camera angles, lighting, and great dermatologist game. These skills were acquired after a confusing decade in the wrong concealer. You made it through that battleground so use every trick in the book to enjoy your female embodiment thoroughly. my girlfriends raised with money often figured this out earlier and had the kind of fun in their 20s, the 30s guarantee.

 If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you've probably been kicking ass in your career and need to call me asap to take advantage of all that is out there to accentuate your goddess glow. It took me until 26 to figure out how to enjoy my God given gifts.

It's way too fun and men are way too visual to not know your way around a pair of fake eyelashes, stillettos, great black dresses, facials, runway walks, and flattering camera angles.

While annoying to be so heavily judged on such a shallow criteria, our evolutionary brain keeps it a priority and we want you dazzling your hottest prospect while your fertility indicators are still primed and ready.

4. We Filter Faster

Thank God we're no longer willing to take scraps to obtain a man's time. Most of us can't believe it took us this long to figure out that men are wired to chase and would rather chase 7s than be chased by 10s. Their brain flips the crazy switch when we pursue, shoving us into a category we don't actually belong in, leaving them unmotivated to work hard for us. Have standards, set boundaries, be fabulous, and have faith that the next one is coming if this one doesn't pan out.

In our 30s, we no longer settle. We now know it sets us up for poor treatment and underwhelming life experiences the entirety of the relationship. Just being absent doing our own thing is enough to give him the "miss you time" he needs to regroup as a man, get shit done, and get fired up to see you again. Being busy and treating men you really like similar to men you kind of like is the key to early dating success.

Stick to the plan and ditch the duds. Sticking with losers longer will only attract less than we deserve.

We no longer waste time being a guys booty call, hoping he comes around, and taking less than we know we deserve. We LOOK FOR RED FLAGS and filter faster - not because we have less time but because we're now smart enough to not waste ours. The universe and the man in question will give us what we think we deserve. Act like a prize and enjoy being pursued as one.

5. We broaden our prospects from past experience

The bad boy quarterback billionaire we may have been narrowly looking for in our 20s is now a laughable, media conjured, biological caricature of what is actually out there. The few that do exist are usually assholes thanks to the corruption of unlimited power and make for the worst partners and fathers (though painfully and annoyingly sexy). We're now smart enough to let the 20 somethings fight to "change" the lost cause men & reward the good ones.

Look at why your last 5 relationships didn't work and start selecting men that have different qualities that perhaps you wouldn't allow for in past pursuits.

Take a hard look at if drug like chemistry or rock hard abs is the MOST IMPORTANT quality a partner must have. Could we be filtering out happiness by selecting based on someone else's silly standards? Do we actually really enjoy feeling safe, laughing a lot, and wanting to enjoy talking to our longterm partner - which may not come in the package we've been marketed in perfume ads.

Our 30s are rad, let's enjoy our power.

give yourself permission to be fierce, feminine, and fabulous and unapologetically rock what you've got.  Women in their 20s often miss their power wrapped up in how stressful that decade is in so many areas. yu have the knowledge, insight, tools, and experience born confidence to truly rock what you've got & enjoy every step of it. dating is your playground girl! get to it.

Beautiful Body Types

BODY TYPE & BEAUTY:  Sports Illustrated got some heat last month over bowing to pressure to feature more regular sized women in their famous bikini spread.  

                      HERE'S WHY I LIKE THE EXPANSION OF THEIR FEATURED BEAUTY IDEAL:

 

3 things I learned about food that changed how I ate

1. Food is information before it's calories

2. Sugar is the enemy in large amounts at one time

3. Thinking of food like an orgasm may help you indulge less and enjoy more.

1. Food is Information:

When I realized food was  a coding message / language inside my body, I stopped looking at it as just calories for fuel.

Food is actually happy or sad, yes or no, messengers that turn certain hormonal release switches on or off. These switches are how our body stays regulated and how our systems talk to each other.  

 I stopped counting calories and started counting number of green things I ate. Even if I ate more calories in green veggies than I would in a single candy bar, I wouldn't be harming my hungry / satisfied switch (ghrelin / lectin) leading to me eating more later. Nor was I raising my inflammation levels by eating toxins that make it harder to lose belly fat or absorb nutrients.

 

2. Sugar is the key that opens up the fat storage container door:

Keeping our blood sugar levels even throughout the day is the key.

When we eat too much sugar at one time, we force our bodies to release tons of insulin to handle this blood sugar crisis (to avoid Diabetic Coma). This insulin quickly shoves sugar into fat cells for storage to get it out of the blood.

way more sugar and fat get stored during these spikes. We can slow this fat storing process by eating less sugar at one time and by mixing fiber with our sugar intake.

This realization changed how I saw dessert or starchy carbs during a meal. Sure I could eat them, but not right next to or with a meal that had tons of fat.

Sugar alone would make me tired, foggy headed, moody, and up my chances for diabetes and other blood sugar imbalance disorders.. But sugar + fat, and I become an efficient fat storing machine.

Any meal that had lots of sugar and lots of fat present would have to have fiber involved and the portion cut in half. I feel better when i Have the butter or coconut oil but ditch the bread. (which has the whole gluten issue on top of simple sugar breakdown).

SIDE NOTE: SUGAR IS QUITE ADDICTIVE & YOU WILL FEEL A NOTICEABLE DIFFERENCE BY CUTTING OUT ALL PROCESSED SUGAR AND STARCHY BREADY CARBS LEAVING ONLY FRUIT WITH PEEL AND VEGGIES IN YOUR CARB SELECTION.

SUGAR CAN BE HARDER TO DO IN MODERATION BUT FIBER REALLY HELPS AS DOES GETTING MORE SLEEP TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN CUTTING DOWN. IT TAKES MANY OF US FULL 3 DAY DETOXES TO CURB CRAVINGS AND GET BACK ON TRACK. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF IN YOUR PROCESS.

 

3. Eating Bad food isn't a deal breaker

I used to get hung up on being rigid with my eating as if that bag of cheetohs was going to end my self worth or future chance for happiness and success. This kind of pressure and cyclical thinking leads to the vicious eating disorder cycle.

Because we are freaking out about caving to a very normal craving, we then binge eat way more than is even enjoyable as we capitalize on our fallen angel status. This not only makes us feel badly about ourselves and worried for our future self control, it also spikes our blood sugar way higher than if we had just enjoyed our chips without the next 4 bags of sabotage.

I now treat food like an Orgasm. The first bite is awesome as is the second and third... Upon the 10th bite, it's not so awesome- so i stop.  I wait until I'm hungry again and can enjoy the awesomeness again maximizing food's pleasure.

Eating slowly & staying present to the pleasure allows us to get the most out of our "splurge food" choices and really maximize our experience while eating half the calories and avoiding a big spike. We'll enjoy it more and give our brain's time to release the "full tummy" signal saving the rest for later when we can love it again.

Don't aim for perfection- it gives food too much power. Aim to correct course as soon as possible & avoid the toxins when we can.

we Deserve to Feel Good.

Wanderlust, Oahu time again!!! Eeeeeeee!

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I am giddily awaiting my return to WanderLust, Oahu in a week to stretch in soothing sun, breathe with my favorite athletic tribe of yogi's, meditate in paradise, and sleep as if in the womb. I'm so ready I can't believe I ever left. I can't wait to breath that deeply, feel that inspired, smile that big, and sleep that well. It is my literal paradise.

And this trip, I'll be wedding venue scouting to share this paradise with my favorite people on a very special day along with shooting new yoga videos to share with the GetHSH community that wishes for bliss on the go. Beyond Excited!

Here is the article featured in Elephant Journal I wrote about last year's festival: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/03/wanderlust-oahu-the-happiest-place-on-earth/

See you soon Northshore, Oahu.