How a Wellness Socialite serves two masters

Balancing wellness in our fast paced, fun world is tricky.

-Sara Plummer Barnard

There are so many obligations and pressures and SO MANY cool things to experience. Where do we exert and where to we conserve? Time to rest or time to push through?

We really are trying to be healthy and get all of our work done and frolic with the fun kids and connect to our highest purpose and and and~ we have 24 hours and mitochondria that requires certain things to output optimal energy.

Top 5 tips to balance it all better:

1. Know your stressors and what depletes you

2. Know what's worth getting depleted for

3. Ditch the next day shame. Permit, commit, and have a recovery plan in place.

4. General Rest Hacks and Recovery Tips

5. Specifics Tips for Alcohol, Sleep Deprivation, Anxiety, Over eating, and Travel

1. Know your stressors / depletors

• Sugar? ... Not enough sleep? ... Traumatic Childhood? ... Manic Over-scheduling?

• Narcissistic Boss? ... Competitive Friends? ... Family pressure? ... Work Load?

Knowing what really takes it out of us lets us plan ahead and have compassion for our resulting fatigue that can take us out of the game. Be honest about how your habits, environment, and community make you feel. Some may require more recovery time than others and some should be avoided entirely.

2. Know what's worth getting depleted

Life is exhausting and we have to know what we value, what we feel is worth blowing our energy load. If we can't get clear on this, we'll spend our time tired and yet unfulfilled. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. It just has to light you up and feel worth it if it involves late nights, stimulating substances (dessert, drugs), or your time (you'll be sacrificing that morning jog).

• What's your real life bucket list?

• What do you feel you should do? What values are being advertised to you? Do you care about those really? Are you just keeping up with the Jones'?

• Do you actually care about tradition, hallmark holidays, sports schedules, that 4th group of friends you're supposed to be seen with, or pressuring family values? (If yes, awesome, note that! If not, what will you lose sleep over?)

• Connect with your true north in that moment - what do I actually want to be doing now?

3. Ditch the next day shame

Once you know what you're willing to tire yourself out for, go for it. Yes you may feel crummy the next day but own your choice, permit yourself, commit to the decision, and know you have a recovery plan. 

4. General Rest Hacks and Recovery Tips

• Sunday sleep in (or 1 other day per week to reset and catchup a bit)

• Lunch nap or solo walk

• 1 night/week early 8:30 bedtime. (If you stayed in, don't scroll Instagram)

• Stop eating 4 hours before bed most nights (allows body to go into empty belly Autophagy cleaning cycle while giving your digestion a break and letting blood sugar rebalance)

• Meditative deep breathing with soothing sounds, eye shade, and pep talk positive thoughts

• Notice where you're mean to yourself and jot it down ~ then start interrupting that asshole

• Switch to veggies, protein, and good fats (ditch the exhausting blood sugar spike emergency)

• Take a 5 day alcohol/sugar break ~ let the body reset and not be in constant recovery mode

• Flush it out with water ~ mood lift, cleansing detox, beauty booster, and cellular gift

• Give Credit & Gratitude ~ list out your accomplishments and tune the brain back to grateful.

5. Beauty Hacks & specific remedies

ALCOHOL:  Booze dries us out, slows our filtering of other toxins, and steals our electrons. Here's how to help avoid a hangover and some next day recovery tips

• While drinking, Go bulletproof! This means clear spirits (no wine/beer), no sugary mixers. Skip dessert on alcohol nights. Vodka Soda, Tequila lime,

• Antioxidant liver support vitamins ~ help the liver make master antioxidant Glutathione by giving it the building blocks NaC & ALA with Vitamin C

• Drink water every other drink. ~ Hangovers are a combination of dehydration and free radicals stealing electrons from our cells. Keep the water coming. Ditch the sugar.

• Sleep ~ let the body process the poisons and filter. This one doubles as an inflammation reducer and beauty hack. Sleep is magic.

• Cold Shower/ SF Bay dips ~ reset the body and lower inflammation

• Move that body - walks in the sunshine are everything.

• Skip the next day coffee and opt for green tea thats less acidic and dehydrating.

• Next day breakfast should have a whole lot of good fats and vitamin rich, fiberous veggies

  • eggs & spinach /broccoli scramble (turmeric & pepper on eggs, sea salt/cayenne optional)

  • avocado & sea salt / avocado crab salad

  • banana & almond butter

  • VitalistSuperfood Aloe Detox drink ~ mint, lime, aloe, ginger, spirulina

LACK OF SLEEP: this one is tough but we can feel a whole lot better with a few tweaks

• Eat less food. ~ Yes you will be seeking more stimulation but the body is tired and can't handle the extra processing load. Absolutely NO SUGAR if you have to be awake and productive the next day. The sugar crash will put you to sleep and wreak havoc on your tired skin.

• Power nap when possible (every minute counts)

• Under eye cream and fabulous concealer / brightener (Benefit's Shybeam adds to any concealer)

• Lots of water, minerals (magnesium), and amino acids to help with body function.

• Walk in the Sunshine! This mood boost, Vitamin D3 bath, and lymphatic detoxing through movement is ALL.THE.THINGS. Start slower and then pick up the pace as your body comes alive.

• Wear bright colors, lips too. (yes you feel like death but vibrant colors (esp. yellow) are mood boosters and red lips keep us feeling fierce)

• Triple the Vitamin C! ~ you can't take too much and this may be the difference between getting sick after a big night or not. Plus you'll notice a positive skin difference. I live on Oxylent (emergenC in a pinch) most days but really go for it after partying.

• Protein over carbs if you want to focus and feel good. .Carbs if you want to numb out and nap.

ANXIETY / STRESS: your brain is low on magnesium, you're depleted, and the anxiety is here

• Lots of oxygen! ~ Deep diaphram breathing tells the brain things are A-ok. The faster the thoughts are going the slower and deeper the breath should be

• Power nap / Meditative break ~ The anxiety won't let you feel accomplished anyway, so stop what you're doing and literally do nothing. Remind that anxiety that you're not going to be pushed around by it's irrational panic. Your brain is depleted and you actually need rest. Deep breathing is your only real to-do list

• GABA, Magnesium, Vitamin B12, D, C, amino acid 5HTP

  • GABA helps the brain chill out

  • Magnesium also helps with the chill while being needed in 300+ brain chemical reactions (epsom salt baths, spinach, almonds, cashews, dark chocolate all have magnesium)

  • methylated/converted B12 & B9 are both the buffers against stress in the body and the mechanics that take amino acid building blocks and create hormones / happy brain chemicals. (read more about Bs here)

  • D ~ linked to good mood, weight loss, strong bones, immune function, and heart health

  • 5HTP is the amino acid that builds Serotonin. People that party on Molly take lots of this the next day. It's a good building block for us to take in the afternoon to build up our reserves and especially the day after lots of happy stimulation. I use Neurothera that combines all of these ingredients.

OVEREATING: It's easy to get caught up in stressful work and social situations and eat to soothe or distract. If this has happened, here's how to reset:

• Wiggle. Dance. Walk. ~ put that food to work and send it to the muscles for use. The dance floor can seriously help the damage of the buffet. Walking after a meal is wonderful to reset.

• Forgive yourself ~ Yes you feel stuffed and yes you have to be in a bikini this weekend. It's ok. The body will process it and there was probably a needed mineral in that food combo that is just what your body needed. One meal is no big deal, especially with the tool of intermittent fasting!

• Intermittent fasting ~ eat 14-16 hours after you take your last bite. Drink water and let your body process that food and stabilize blood sugar before giving it more. Overnight fasting is great (and easier). If you feel hungry, make some bulletproof coffee/tea with coconut oil or butter in it. Break the fast with slices of good fat rich avocado.

• Commit to experiment ~ If you know you're an anxious eater, have some food rules. See how you feel after ditching alcohol at one event, sugar at another, and dairy/meat at another. See which social food combo works best for your body and what should be avoided. Just don't ditch them all at the same event. Start slow and experiment with breaking this common overeating cycle.

TRAVEL: Dry airplanes, too much sitting, recycled air, unhealthy snacks, and weird hours can throw us off. These can help:

• Under Eye Cream ~ wear it and bring it

• Lots of water - bring or buy a bottle

• Healthy Snacks ~ Avocado cut in half in bag, Almonds/Walnuts, VitalistSuperfood Nut Balls,Paleo Bar, Home popped Popcorn in a bag, Starbucks Match green Tea Latte, Salad or sushi bought at the airport (careful with the dressing), Apple, Nitrate free Turkey/Beef Jerkey, Steamed Veggies.

• Bring a Jacket/scarf for warmth and low back support (who are those seats made for?)

• Fascia releaseTennis Balls for massage

• Bring Eye Shades to sleep

• Stretch, Rollout, and maybe walk that morning

• Walk around the airport

• Dress fabulous enough you'd be ok running into an ex but comfy enough to take a nap (leggings and lipstick)

• Time your nap and pop a melatonin for longer flights entering a new timezone

• Vitamin C!!! Your skin, immune system, and pending jet lag are begging you!

 

What I learned creating a weight loss program.

I wrote my first wellness book in 2016. I wanted to understand the digital marketing process and had a partner focused on the weight loss arena. I had a suspicion that the same things that were adding weight to us were also causing depression and fatigue.

I spent 6 months writing FreetheFat - a stress reducing slimming system. Another 3 months building the website, established a corporation, legally tying to a business partner, hiring a rad spokesperson, shooting a commercial and exercise video... the whole deal. It took most of my focus and I all but ignored this blog.

And it didn't go as financially planned.  Here are 4 things I learned:

1. Follow your passion, seriously

I got talked out of writing the mental health and relationship health books I am passionate about in favor of the weight loss genre. Because time and energy are so valuable, it only makes sense to only go big in areas we really care about. When it gets tough, we stand strong on the hills we're willing to die on.

I'm really passionate about how our inner monologue and external relationships affect our perspective and happiness. The weight loss follows faster when we're happy and relaxed. We eat less to fill a hole or avoid a scary task and more to enhance productivity and pleasure. We rest enough living in faith that the important stuff will get done.

2. Certain fats are really important & sugar is the enemy

While researching FreetheFat - a stress reducing slimming system, I learned how important good fats are. Omega3s help with mental health, weight loss, and feeling satisfied.  I smear everything with avocado, organic butter, flaxseed oil, or coconut/MCT oil now.

I learned weight loss is highly up to our individual genetic makeup but sugar is bad for pretty much all of us. Like really bad. From the stress hormone release to turning on fat storage mode, sugar jacks us up. But fiber helps and sleep is the master reset. Anything that calms and heals get us lean. Anything that spikes cortisol adds to weight gain mode.

So I made very little money but learned how to manage the stress of that - including how to not turn toward my favorite vice - sugar. Well, at least without fiber and plenty of water to balance.

3. We can do it!

We really do have the tools to do the things we're meant to do on this planet. Anything too good to be true really is just that. My business partner didn't end up knowing how to do most of the things he thought he could - but what a cool experience to show myself I could do/learn/find most myself.

And wow did my community show up and spread love and support. That alone was worth the frustration. In the end, I found a new bestie tech team member, wrote 300+ pages, and learned to manage disappointment. I even had the time to experiment with nutrient combinations finding success with amino acid therapy.  Check out my findings:

All that nutrient research showed that intestine absorption is tricky business and supplement sourcing matters. I couldn't align with those lucrative but suspect supplement providers.

After the initial business partner frustration, I connected with a medical grade supplement supplier my doctor friend uses and didn't have to feel morally conflicted in suggesting questionably sourced, profit-focused vitamins.

If things had gone as planned, I would have deferred to early advisors and accidentally become another shady vitamin pusher. Talk about losing my mission. The universe kindly led me instead to trusted brands at discount.

4. Count the wins & only the wins.

Staying engaged with our journey and proud of our attempts is winning. Staying focused on these wins is essential for a positive mindset and a life we're excited to show up for.

I will forever turn to sleep, morning fasting, lymphatic movement, certain herbs, and deep breaths when I want to get bikini ready. I won't attempt to lose weight by spiking my cortisol, destroying my joints, and breaking down my body. Devoting a year to writing a program - even if for only me - is worth what I learned.

Finishing something is huge for my perfectionist brain. If nothing ever feels good enough, saying something is done is damn near impossible. But the 1st draft is done!!! I needed to get my first book done so I could get the rest written. I'm proud of creating these and I'm choosing to count the wins.

I put together 8 guides, 7 supplement bundles, 1 large book, produced a voice recording, and a website. Peter Diamondis is right about "Fail often and fail forward." (His book Bold is fantastic btw). I can be really hard on myself and 2017 is all about celebrating every win keeping the mind in a state of empowerment and excitement.

Another win was the psychological growth. The experience drudged up all sort of old emotional baggage that I needed cleared. I was really disappointed and fighting my brain's cruel attempt at tying this timeline "failure" to all future failures. Old disappointments, false programming, and anxieties needed to see the light so they could be addressed. Super grateful to have new awareness around what those inner sabotaging voices quietly say all day long. No wonder it's tough to get stuff done.

Plus, when I got really frustrated, I hopped a plane to South Africa where I read two more fantastic health books, had the trip of my life, climbed Lion's head, and supported a dear friend who is changing the world for women's safety. I would never have been so trigger happy if not so desperately disappointed.

The biggest win is the progress on the depression book.  I couldn't ignore the correlation between food and pleasurable escape. My mental health focus just had to look at which foods make us sad and how hard it is to give up a sugary pleasure source when we are depressed. So I ended up writing a 56 pager about my actual passion anyway.

I grew my compassion for this losing battle. If we can't address our depression, we're going to have a hard time saying no to pleasurable food and drinks. And feeling shame around that is both unfair and damaging. 

Despite so many things not going as planned, I love the wellness research that came out of this writing exercise and the information in the Free the Fat: Stress reducing slimming system